Hi Kamu..

i love u bucuk..

always..
n
always..

thanks for being wit me

even for a while..

bahana yg tidak disedari..

aku xpernah berkongsi cerita ini kecuali ngn keluarga terdekat aku..st pengalaman idup yg tidak pernah aku lalui..tidak pernah aku sangka kan berlaku...telah berlaku dlm idup aku..

wel seperti sume org tau..aku telah berpisah ngn die..pd mulenye segalenye ok..aku bole idup mcm bese..even sedih n terase..tp aku cube trime kenyataan itu..

ttapi..segalenye bubah secare tibe3..aku ilang tumpuan..xselere mkn..segale pekerjaan aku xmampu buat..yg aku mampu hanye la merenung..termenung..n menangis pk kan masalah aku..aku pelik..kkdang ader terase nk terjun bangunan pun..rs mcm lost..aku ilang punce..

tp mungkin kerane di saat kiter berduka..aku memilih jln tuk dekat kepade Allah..aku tergerak tuk berckp ngn keluarga aku..aku citer pe yg aku rs..aku xleh idup kt tmpt tu..segenap mn aku pegi..pasti aku ternmpk die..aku jd bingung sedangkan die bersikap kejam terhadap aku..aku seperti ilang arah..

lantas aku berase tenang bile berjauhan dr tmpt itu..walau umah ku jauh dr tmpt itu..aku sanggup ulang alik hanye kerane aku tidak tenang di situ..

akhirnye..keluarge aku membawe aku berubat..kerane keadaan aku sgt tidak terurus lagi..rupe2nye ader manusie yg berperasaan dengki telah melakukan sesuatu..aku termenung seketika..apakah slh aku terhadap manusie ini smpi tergamak die berbuat demikian..

then..aku menerus kan idup aku seperti biase..alhamdulilah..keadaan kembali nomal.n die pun tidak bersikap kejam lg terhadap aku..tp hubungan kiterorg mmg xdpt di selamatkan lg..

aku tau sp org itu..tp skarang br aku tau kenape die wat mcm tu kt aku..aku mungkin tidak sakitkan hati die secare langsung..tp die terase ngn ape yg aku wat..mayb die xsedar pe yg die wat tu slh..wel kl niat die nk balas dendam..well u got it..i already suffered..thnks btw for making such a stupid thing to others..aku mungkin maafkan org yg wat itu..but ingt nie..wat goes around comes around..mayb bukan arini ko kene..but someday u will..

kebahagiaan dlm perpisahan..

Tak perlu ucapkan sepatah kata
Kerna lantang terbaca dari muka
Kau dan daku sudah tiada
Keserasian di jiwa
Mungkin magisnya sudah hilang

Tak perlulah kita mencuba lagi
Betulkan kesilapan perhubungan ini
Bila setiap perbincangan
Menjadi perbalahan
Manakah agaknya cinta pasti

Embun pun takkan mampu menyubur sekuntum
Bunga yang layu pada musim luruh
Yang dulunya mekar di sinar suria
Bila sudah kering pasti akan gugur

Seperti cinta kita yang jelas ternyata
Semakin lama oh semakin rekah
Menimbulkan tanya, apa mungkin kita
Temu kebahagiaan dalam perpisahan..

Usah titis air mata kau tangiskan
Ku dah cukup menampung selautan
Begitu lama ku pendam
Tapi hanya berdiam
Kerna cuba menafi realiti

kebahagiaan...dlm perpisahan..

sms itu..apekah mknenye??

st hari sedang aku menikmati keindahan alam..ttbe aku menerima st sms..
sms tu bertulis mcm nie..

"atas sbb ibu sy..kiter xleh kapel..if ader jodoh adela..sy minta maaf"..

aku cam..apekah..xde angin..xde ribut..ttbe dpt sms mcm tu..wel aku xtau nk rs pe..
xtau nk react pe..xtau nk ckp pe..

stau aku la..adik bradik die ader je yg kapel..ok je..keep it low suda..xyah la nk hlight sgt..yg wat aku angin tu..ayat die..kl ader jodoh ader la..wth..nmpk sgt die xnk usehe..jus nk pasrah mcm tu..tah la..aku xtau nk ckp mcm ne kt die kasi die fhm..

sume org xsempurna..sume org pernah wat silap..mayb setgh org sukar tuk maafkan kesilapan org lain..n mayb org tu die..cume aku xphm kenape die nk anta sms mcm tu..kl rs xsuke ckp trus trang la xsuke..xyah la nk wat ayat kl ader jodoh ader la..
honestly..aku benci ayat tu..aku benci ayat..buke buku baru tutup buku lame..tp aku sll kan dpt ayat2 mcm tu..wth..

donno wat to say

xtau mcm ne nk ckp..nk tulis..
bt im feeling so bad..
n its hurting me from inside..
why its so hard to get it..
why its so hard to find it..
donno wat to say..wat to do..wat to think..
little thing dat make me crazy..
its jus everything in vein..
so mess up..
all i want it jus some love n appriciation..
bt i guess its hard for me to get it..especially from u..
why life so cruel to me..

im not blind yet..
still could see n feel ur reaction doesnt shows any love at all..
not jus selfish..
bt annoying..
u push me awy until a place that i could not reach..
u ignore me like im not exist in ur life..
u let others noe about except me..
u hurt me as much as u can..
u shut up when i start to talk to u..

u say u love me..
u say u miz me..
bt u reaction doesnt shows any love at all..
at all..
dats the hardest thing i need to face it..

i wish i could throw it away..
far far awy from me..
i wish i didnt love u at all..
i wish i could life without u..
i wish i could survive having life alone..
i wish i had it at all..

wat should i ....

there was a day that we decided to hang out together as we want to spend whole day together..i was thinking it would be the best day ever since we didnt spent much time together..but..God knows better than me..anything could happen..its turn up to be the worst day ever..i have to drive back alone plus i didnt realise im lacking of petrol.where there is no petrol station along the road..luckily i managed to reach my home safely..

not everything is worst btw..he gave me flowers..the red one..i was like..happy when he gave it to me..(berbunge2 tgk bunge tu)..then we watch a movie which i already watch..but it's worth it to watch this movie twice..we ate together..(i ate happy meal..he bought for me)..

when i reach my home..i start thinking..wat should i..
do?
think?
feel?
if this happenned again..again..and again??
who am i to him?
wat i supposed to react if this situation happen again?
it is a love?
or wat??

i guess im stuck here with myself..my own feeling..

one day wit gurls

g lepak2 ngn mmber3..
aktivitinye..

- tgk movie
- mkn2
- sembang3
- shopping2

movie yg kiterorg tgk tjuk die..knight n day..mule2 ingt mcm xbes..but when the story goes by..the storyline become interesting..they jus so sweet together..that guy (tom kruz) so cool even we as audiance could feel how 'cool' the situation it was. that gurl (cameron diaz) so clumsy..they so pefect together in the movie..
feel like want to watch the movie again, again n again...

roy miller is so handsome n cool in this movie until i feel like in love wit this character..i wish i could meet this guy in my life..(dlm mimpi bole la..in real life..no hope..)

then g sembang3..jln3..rs mcm dh lm sgt xwat bende3 mcm nie..even aku dh bertemu ngn insan2 lain..tp mereke3 ini tiada ganti nye..aku seperti org lain bersame mereke..mayb bcoz of the bond that we have since we were young..a lot of thing to be shared..to be talked to..so much to talk, even one day is not enough for us..

i already missed that moment..time tick tock so fast..

:(