do you love me?

well after almost 2 weeks without internet in my life now i got a chance to have it..it jus because i have to attend one motivation course by my new employer..at first everything is lame coz i dont like it..i never like o enjoy any motivation session or talk..even from my school level..it jus i dont like other people keep on mumbling about something which i cannot digest it in a right way.

its take 2 weeks to complete it and surely there's a lot of thing happened. one thing i that i really proud about it is my batch for this session won for the mega challenge where so far only one team could make it..and we r the second team that won this challenge.

but..before i go for this course, i felt so stress and i guess something bad will happened to me..n like its true..something that i really hate happened to me. why people always asking me about the question that i dont have the answer? do i need to post it note at my head n say to the world about it?telling other people what i felt? come on la..not all the question are necessary to be asked to other people. seriously, these things make me sick and feel like hopeless. what is past is past and i dont want to remember it.not even to remind it in my life.i jus want to keep on survive in my life without being haunted by my old stories. i hate it so much until i cannot even breath.

why so hard for me to stay away from these matter? when i keep on trying to push it away from my life, it suddenly come back and haunt me back.i try to take everything in positive way but its seems doesnt happen to me. everyday, i wake up and keep on hoping that today is better that yesterday.im not a strong person who can handle it. i jus an ordinary women who still needs a men in her life. all i want is to be loved and i keep wondering why its so hard to find.i giving up for all these thing and i wish i dont have to think about it anymore.

im so touched when they talked about love o even feeling. i cannot hold my tears everytime they talk about feeling. for me what ever they said, what ever they told, it jus a story that i already faced it in my past. its seems repeated by themselves. which i cannot resist it.